Give Me Back My Heart
by themarchgirl
Summary: What we've got; it's never going to go away.' Creddie, minor Seddie. Rated for kissing and themes.


**A/N: **Really should be finishing chapter 11 of Brother Sister (almost done, I swear, just need a couple of hundred more words) but I have been reading loads of fics with kissing in them and this simply would not leave me alone. Enjoy.

Carly Shay was never one to refuse a kiss.

Which was a good thing, because she had just happened to find out that the certain person she was kissing was excellent at it. She had never really thought that he, of all people would be able to kiss her _like this_, in a way that was passionate but tender and rough but loving.

Freddie groaned as her tongue poked his through the gap she had just opened up between their mouths. She pressed herself closer to him, her fists clenching round clumps of one of his best shirts. She vaguely wondered how the hell she'd got here, pinned against the wall, heart hammering, brain freezing. Oh, yes, Sam's party, Sam's _eighteenth_ party. Where she was currently supposed to be celebrating her newfound adulthood.

And yet her two best friends were two floors above her, kissing like there was no tomorrow and forgetting that Sam and Freddie were a _thing_, an _item_, a _couple_.

Carly had been sitting on the couch, tapping her foot to the beat of the song that was being blasted through the speakers of Spencer's biggest stereo. Everyone was dancing, talking, drinking soda, eating pizza and snacks and having a great time. Freddie had sat down beside her with a little of Sam's lip gloss on his mouth, and he'd tapped her on the shoulder and leaned in so close his lips almost, _almost_, brushed her ear. She remembered how she'd longed for his touch and become a little flustered as she'd turned around.

His face had been a little too close for Carly to expect. She'd nervously greeted him with a smile and a hey, howya doing and then he'd said I'm OK, but I need to talk to you can we go upstairs and then she'd replied with a sure but will Sam be OK and then he'd indicated Sam doing the Macarena with Gibby (who was shirtless, of course) so she followed him upstairs.

They'd reached the third floor when he grabbed her arm and slammed her against the wall. It had hurt but then she saw the _look_ in his eye and she forgot the pain completely because he leaned down and kissed her.

And so here they were, almost glued together against the wall and making out like nobody's business. Carly blanked out again as Freddie removed his lips from hers and started a trail of kisses down her collarbone. She moaned quietly and he bit down gently into her neck. She squirmed and he licked the mark, making sure she wasn't in any pain. She huffed and grabbed his head again, bringing him back up for more kissing.

Carly swore her heart was _vibrating_, it was beating so fast. Her fingers dug into Freddie's hair and his hands lifted from her hips so he could wrap his arms around her waist.

They slid slowly down the wall as the desperation built.

'God, Carly,' Freddie choked as her tongue twisted and twirled inside his ear. His hands grabbed the bottom of her new shirt and clenched it tightly, needing something to hold onto. Carly went in for another kiss. Their tongues mixed and danced and Freddie managed to lick her lips enough for Carly to go _absolutely spare_.

She pulled her hands out of his hair and transferred them to the belt buckle on his jeans, but he stopped her. They stared at each other, chests heaving and eyes dark with lust.

'Wait.' Freddie's voice was broken, so he cleared his throat. 'We _can't_.'

'Why?' Carly whispered.

'I _love her_, Carls. I really do.'

'Why did you drag me up here then?' Carly's voice started to thicken. 'Why did you just kiss me? Why did you just kiss me _like that_?

Freddie closed his eyes and shook his head. 'I don't know.'

'You don't love me anymore.'

'No.'

Carly's eyes filled with tears. She blinked them away.

'I see,' she sighed. 'Well, I guess I was stupid to believe something else.'

She got up and, straightening her clothes, went back to her best friend's party; leaving Freddie slumped on the floor, alone.

The next few days were spent mostly mooching around for Carly. Spencer came back from his weekend in New York at an 'abstract art' convention and noticed nothing, only that she took longer showers than normal and once when he came in to change her bed linen the pillow was damp.

Other than that, life went on. Carly went to school, did her homework, laughed at Sam's jokes, and made sure that she did not think about that night.

You'd think she and Freddie would have kissed before. But she was much too nice to lead anyone on, and at this point she kind of knew she'd missed her chance. Sam and Freddie's affections towards each other had never really bothered her before (only when they kissed right in front of her and she'd rather not see the inside of their mouths, thank you) but now every touch, every smile, every hug made her want to go burrow under her sheets in her bed and cry.

It was only when Freddie started whispering stuff in Sam's ear that it became almost impossible to be in the same room as them. She envied Sam, wishing she could be there, in Freddie's arms, being the receiver of his love and attention. She wished she had given in when it was _her_ he adored and crushed on so hard he would jump of a damn cliff for her. She wished she hadn't buried these little flutters she had started getting _just _before he gave up, moved on, all that jazz. She remembered that when he hugged her sometimes and held on a _little_ too long she'd actually quite happily have stayed there, clasped to his warm chest and feeling _loved_.

A week after The Incident (Carly had rather appropriately named it as she would rather not think about what happened after all the nice kissing stuff and push it to the back of her mind, because it seemed that Freddie had forgotten all about it) Carly was lying in bed, alone, failing at sleep and trying not to cry.

_Be strong, girl, get a hold on yourself_. She thought. Strong. Tough. She took a deep breath.

And then burst into tears.

It would so happen that Spencer had wanted to deposit an old sculpture in the old iCarly studio and was walking by as she started to cry, so he went in, putting the sculpture by the door.

'Carly? What's wrong?' He went to her and sat next to her on top of the covers, wrapping an arm round her. 'What happened?'

'Freddie (sniffle) kissed me at (hiccup) Sam's party last week and then he said he didn't (_really _shaky inhale of breath) love me and now I don't know (sob) what to do...'

Spencer liked Freddie (_great_ kid, helped him out with one of his recent sculptures; a talking cat that sat there and...oh wait, hang on, Carly comforting, Spencer, brain on _Carly_, not art) but now he was kind of mad.

'Oh, Carls, poor baby,' Carly whimpered and stuffed her face under his arm. 'Listen, he's out of his mind, he's going through a tough time with Sam at the moment-'

'Huh?'

'They've been arguing about their future and whether they want it together or not. Freddo's been coming round for some advice lately.'

'Well, they seemed cosy enough today.' Carly frowned and Spencer patted her head.

'Carls, he's just confused and probably wondering who he really likes and being a boy, even smart Freddie will just kiss you if he wants to-'

'He wanted to kiss me?'

'Maybe. Listen, I know that women are the hardest things to figure out for men, and it's the same way around for women, isn't it?'

Carly nodded vigorously.

'I honestly thought he was going to, you know, sleep with me, Spencer,' Carly mumbled. 'I felt like everything was on fire and I just wanted him.'

Spencer blushed at how near Carly had got to 'fourth base', as it were. 'Carls, I don't think sleeping with him that night would have been a good idea, for obvious reasons, and the fact that you should save your first time for the right moment and the right _person_, and both of you have to be in the right frame of mind.'

Carly sighed. 'I know. I don't know why I had to start liking him right now, when he's so serious about Sam. Why didn't I like him earlier?'

'Because you didn't.' Spencer replied. 'We don't choose who we like or love or hate. It just happens. Carly, it will all work out, you'll see.'

After two more weeks of a premier-seat and backstage passes to the Throw-Up Show (i.e. Sam and Freddie just being together), Carly severely doubted anything would work out for her. Sam and Freddie had decided to go to different colleges in the fall, but keep up their relationship.

'Long-distance relationships are _so_ romantic,' Sam had explained. 'Don't want to lose my little Freddork, do I?'

Freddie had then grinned and made out with her. Carly had tried not to be sick.

Summer came around with a heat-wave in the last week, causing little work to be done and the graduation ceremony to be cut short considerably. The day ended with another party at Carly's apartment. She tried not to hope for a repeat of last time she hosted a party.

During the get-together, Carly attempted to avoid Freddie and a little Sam, who mostly went on and on about how she and Freddie would be together forever and how much she'd miss her 'techie babe' (Carly swore she'd wanted to be sick at least twenty times in the last few weeks, it didn't really come as a surprise when her stomach turned) in the long months they would be apart.

'He's going to email me every week,' Sam shoved Carly's previous conversation companion out of his seat as she said this, munching on a cheese stick at the same time. 'He said he _loves_ me. Isn't that awesome?'

'Uh, yeah, that's great. Oh, gotta go to the bathroom. See you later!' Carly hopped down from her stool and raced into the crowd, only to slam into Freddie.

'Oh, sorry,' Carly mumbled. '_Really_ got to go!' No, she didn't, actually.

'Wait.' His fingers entwined with hers.

'Don't do that to me again, Freddie, _please_,' Carly moaned. She broke free of his grasp and hurried into Spencer's bathroom, locking the door and slumping on the toilet.

She pressed her face against the cold white wall and let a few tears seep down her cheeks. Oh, God, not again, she was going to get her heart fixed and then broken once more. He was going to corner her and then kiss her (she didn't mind that part, just the bit that came after) until she wanted him so bad she would happily drag him into the iCarly studio and...

'Oh, _God_,' Carly groaned. 'No, no, don't want that. Get out of my head!' She bumped her head against the wall a couple of times to rid herself of those images. _Mr Devlin in a bikini, Ms Briggs in a tutu..._

Carly stood up and cleaned up her face before unlocking the door and stepping outside.

She could see him waiting by the stairs, obviously troubled, his brow furrowed. His hair was particularly messy tonight, like he'd run his hand through it a lot in frustration.

_Damn_, it looked good.

Carly kept a low profile and tried to slip past him into the kitchen but an arm wound round her waist before she could get away.

'Where are you going?'

'I'm kind of hungry, so I'm just getting a snack...' Freddie had started to press light kisses to her neck and her trail of thought disappeared.

'Where's Sam? I thought you _loved_ her.' Carly managed a scathing whisper but she couldn't really make her voice work. He had begun to nibble on her ear.

'She's gone home. Her mom isn't feeling well. Come on, let's go upstairs.' His breath was hot on her neck and she almost melted.

'No, I won't let you do that to me again,' Carly protested feebly. 'Why are you doing this?'

'Can't get you out of my head.'

Carly twisted in his embrace and looked up at him. His eyes were very dark and his face was very close.

'Where upstairs?'

'Your bedroom. Do you have a lock?'

'Yeah,' Carly whispered. 'Let's go.'

When Carly locked her door Freddie automatically started to kiss her. His arms wrapped very tightly around her and she held onto his shoulders. She'd missed this for four weeks and it would seem so had he.

She started to walk him backwards in the direction of her bed. He complied and soon he sunk down onto her purple quilt, pulling her down to sit next to him. Their mouths never broke apart. This kind of kissing was not desperate, rough and passionate, it was tender and soft, slow and needy, letting the emotions build with the time that went past.

It was only when they tipped sideways so that they were lying horizontally that Carly wished for more. She nibbled timidly on his lip and then discovered he liked that. A deep growl rose from inside his chest and he swept his tongue over her mouth before dipping it inside.

Carly found that she was too hot in her t-shirt. She was in the middle of pulling it up and over her head when Freddie stopped her and pulled it back down.

'Carly, are you sure you want to do this?'

She nodded, her eyes bright and her cheeks pink.

Freddie gave in and pulled it over her head.

Twenty minutes later, when they were done and putting their clothes back on, Carly revelled in the feeling she had between her legs and in her chest. She was a little sore, but he'd been gentle and it hadn't hurt; only a little at the start. The reason she'd been biting her lip so much and scrunching up her face was because it felt so, _so_ good.

When they were both dressed again Freddie kissed her long and hard.

'Are we going to tell Sam?' she asked.

Freddie thought for a minute. 'Maybe one day. I've been thinking about breaking up with her for a while, but we're really close, I don't want to hurt her.'

'So you're just going to leave it like this? You're going to go on as normal, like this never happened?'

They were still wrapped in each other's arms and there was a wet patch on the bed. Carly glanced at it.

'Well, I can't, can I? You're too special; I don't think I can have enough of you.'

'Really?'

'Sam is awesome, she really is, but I guess you're always going to have a huge part of my heart, and I can't deny that.' Freddie explained. 'I think you've got most of it.'

'I'll give it back if you give back mine.' He looked at her, his eyes searching for what, he didn't know.

'I don't think I can.' Freddie whispered, leaning down and kissing her forehead.

'Why did you say you didn't love me?' Carly asked.

'At the time I was fighting with Sam and I was all confused and worried and then you looked so beautiful. I remembered why I liked you in the first place and everything was crashing down around me except for that; that was solid. And, being an insensitive boy like me, I had to check.'

Carly smiled sadly. 'Were you right?'

'Yeah, I was. What we've got; it's never going to go away.'

'You think?' Carly rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes.

'Well, I'm Freddie Benson. I'm always right about _something_.'

**A/N: **I know this isn't the best ending but I've got a little writer's block. I hope you guys like it. REVIEWS ARE LOVE. Never forget. Peter Penguin will eat you. XD


End file.
